Stress...it's an interesting word. What causes stress and how does one handle stress.
Life is not easy. I have a had a hard time with finding me lately and I want to find ME again. And no I am not having a Ricky Bobby moment where there is a cougar and the word me printed on anything. I have been so wrapped up in being a momma bear for my kids that I look in the mirror and don't see me. I look tired all the time. I realize yesterday when I got home that I drank a couple of coffee and nothing else. Where did I go?
My oldest son has verbal and motor apraxia. He has adhd and anxiety disorder. This is causing an interesting mix of how a almost 13 handles stress. Apraxia causes him not to have a voice all the time. He has an issue using words to express himself so he finds other ways. Due to his size those ways that he see's as innocent make others worry. I do not fear my son, or have I have feared my son. Down deep there is the funny and smiling kid that I would find when he would wake up from a nap. He is still the funny kid that would tell us jokes or play practical jokes on us. The problem is that kid is buried so deep underneath this horrible head game of anxiety. It has been a long road and we aren't even to a point that I feel it is under control. All I do is pray for answers or a vision of where we should go and how we can help find that funny and loving child that anxiety has buried so deep.
Today is my half birthday and I have decided to try to find me again. Life is a struggle and I feel that I am on the outer bands of a spinning tornado. I strive to find myself that is in the eye of the storm where I can find peace and be ME again.
