Life is full of ups and downs.
It is easy to relax when life is up but its how you react when it is down that shows your true character. Never be satisfied and always strive to be more.
You kids are always watching. '
Love them and show them it is ok to be sad and that you don't always have the answer.
Wednesday, May 23, 2018
Thursday, March 1, 2018
Stress
Stress...it's an interesting word. What causes stress and how does one handle stress.
Life is not easy. I have a had a hard time with finding me lately and I want to find ME again. And no I am not having a Ricky Bobby moment where there is a cougar and the word me printed on anything. I have been so wrapped up in being a momma bear for my kids that I look in the mirror and don't see me. I look tired all the time. I realize yesterday when I got home that I drank a couple of coffee and nothing else. Where did I go?
My oldest son has verbal and motor apraxia. He has adhd and anxiety disorder. This is causing an interesting mix of how a almost 13 handles stress. Apraxia causes him not to have a voice all the time. He has an issue using words to express himself so he finds other ways. Due to his size those ways that he see's as innocent make others worry. I do not fear my son, or have I have feared my son. Down deep there is the funny and smiling kid that I would find when he would wake up from a nap. He is still the funny kid that would tell us jokes or play practical jokes on us. The problem is that kid is buried so deep underneath this horrible head game of anxiety. It has been a long road and we aren't even to a point that I feel it is under control. All I do is pray for answers or a vision of where we should go and how we can help find that funny and loving child that anxiety has buried so deep.
Today is my half birthday and I have decided to try to find me again. Life is a struggle and I feel that I am on the outer bands of a spinning tornado. I strive to find myself that is in the eye of the storm where I can find peace and be ME again.
Life is not easy. I have a had a hard time with finding me lately and I want to find ME again. And no I am not having a Ricky Bobby moment where there is a cougar and the word me printed on anything. I have been so wrapped up in being a momma bear for my kids that I look in the mirror and don't see me. I look tired all the time. I realize yesterday when I got home that I drank a couple of coffee and nothing else. Where did I go?
My oldest son has verbal and motor apraxia. He has adhd and anxiety disorder. This is causing an interesting mix of how a almost 13 handles stress. Apraxia causes him not to have a voice all the time. He has an issue using words to express himself so he finds other ways. Due to his size those ways that he see's as innocent make others worry. I do not fear my son, or have I have feared my son. Down deep there is the funny and smiling kid that I would find when he would wake up from a nap. He is still the funny kid that would tell us jokes or play practical jokes on us. The problem is that kid is buried so deep underneath this horrible head game of anxiety. It has been a long road and we aren't even to a point that I feel it is under control. All I do is pray for answers or a vision of where we should go and how we can help find that funny and loving child that anxiety has buried so deep.
Today is my half birthday and I have decided to try to find me again. Life is a struggle and I feel that I am on the outer bands of a spinning tornado. I strive to find myself that is in the eye of the storm where I can find peace and be ME again.
Monday, January 1, 2018
2018
So today is January 1, 2018. It is interesting that everyone thinks a new year is a new start. In reality it is just another day. Don't get me wrong it is a day in time that you can say lets do this....and start a plan. The problem is you can chose any day to start a plan but if you don't follow thru then what good was the plan? This is my problem every year. EVERY YEAR! So how do you get out of this constant struggle?
Don't make a plan? That doesn't seem very smart.
Make a plan and then make a plan to stay on plan? Who is planning this? and what plan should I stick to?
Make a plan...tell everyone you know and then stick to the plan because you don't want to let people down?
UGH. All of this makes me very anxious and sends my anxiety thru the roof. So I like an idea a friend of mine started. What is your "word" for the year? I really thought about my life and realize that I struggle with change and worrying about if I let someone else down. In reality I am just letting myself down and then this vicious cycle starts over again. So my word for the year is BRAVE. I want to BRAVE in everything I do. I find myself not standing up for myself, worried about what others think or say about me, scared of change, and scared to love/let people in. I want to live and not have regrets. I want to teach my kids that is ok to be different and to be seen but at the end of the day you have to love yourself no matter what your faults are. I want to let up on my controlling tendencies and let others lead the pack. I want to be happy and if I am happy and people see it then others will be happy to be around me also.
BRAVE!!!! is a such a strong word but it means so much. I also have to be BRAVE to see my faults and what I need to work on. My health is number one on my list. I am not going to be wrapped up in the scale but I just checked and I am the heaviest I have ever been. I just want to treat my body like a temple...will I screw up and fall off the rails? Yes. But I will have to be BRAVE to say that is ok and start again.
BRAVE
Don't make a plan? That doesn't seem very smart.
Make a plan and then make a plan to stay on plan? Who is planning this? and what plan should I stick to?
Make a plan...tell everyone you know and then stick to the plan because you don't want to let people down?
UGH. All of this makes me very anxious and sends my anxiety thru the roof. So I like an idea a friend of mine started. What is your "word" for the year? I really thought about my life and realize that I struggle with change and worrying about if I let someone else down. In reality I am just letting myself down and then this vicious cycle starts over again. So my word for the year is BRAVE. I want to BRAVE in everything I do. I find myself not standing up for myself, worried about what others think or say about me, scared of change, and scared to love/let people in. I want to live and not have regrets. I want to teach my kids that is ok to be different and to be seen but at the end of the day you have to love yourself no matter what your faults are. I want to let up on my controlling tendencies and let others lead the pack. I want to be happy and if I am happy and people see it then others will be happy to be around me also.
BRAVE!!!! is a such a strong word but it means so much. I also have to be BRAVE to see my faults and what I need to work on. My health is number one on my list. I am not going to be wrapped up in the scale but I just checked and I am the heaviest I have ever been. I just want to treat my body like a temple...will I screw up and fall off the rails? Yes. But I will have to be BRAVE to say that is ok and start again.
BRAVE
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